Skip the Small, Battle the Big: A Pep Talk on Engagement

I realized something huge and vast and transformative tonight, and it came from both looking at my Facebook feed and engaging in “conversation” (cough) with complete strangers.

Through happenstance and serendipity, I’ve gotten to know and friend individuals whose voices and stories are characterized by what I think of as humble magnificence, an uncommon virtue earned not merely through ability and achievement but also through devastating loss and the personal grace demonstrated in facing that loss. That grace is manifest in their choice of acceptance of and/or resistance to that loss.

Things happen beyond our control. Who we become when we respond may be very different from who we were at the moment when tragedy tore through our lives.

Some individuals go small and dark and mean. They become the human equivalent of potato bugs, curling into tight fists, plating over their humanity to protect the aching leftovers of their once-whole selves.

Other individuals move into a phase of expansive illumination, like a bulb that shines in all directions once the lampshade is removed. It’s as if, in response to that one light going out in their lives, they shine brighter not only to compensate but to guide others who will also face that black void.